Ok well maybe not ‘skinny’, just a bit slimmer, maybe drop 2 or 3 dress sizes?! Just for one day. I just want to test it out. Will I really be happier if I lose all that weight and look like the image I constantly carry around in my head? Does being a slim size 10 really give you confidence and happiness? Or do size 8’s and 10’s day dream of being that little bit ‘chubbier’?! Seriously though, why the frangipane (keeping it clean!😂) do sizes and numbers matter?!

I’ve struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. Going through the usual puppy fat phase, then the ‘eat all you like and not gain anything’ phase, where I was ridiculously skinny and I just looked all gangly and ill and then the phase of drinking too much, partying too hard and living on 3am donner kebabs. Then came the settling down and having kids. When you settle down with someone it usually means eating together- A LOT- because you’re comfortable with that person and you get to a point where you just don’t care what they think you look like, you know they love you because they’ve chosen to be with you and they’re eating just the same. God, I remember when I first got with G I was too scared to eat anything in front of him, it just made me feel uncomfortable.

I realise that I put myself under far too much pressure to lose weight but it’s something I can never seem to get rid of. I think the summer days make it worse because when the sun is out I try to stick with my usual ‘cover up’ clothes of jeans and long sleeved tops or oversized t-shirts but then the heat is unbearable and it’s just not comfortable. Or I try and go for summer attire like a vest top or maxi dress and end up crying at what I see in the mirror- big chubby arms, ‘tyre’ rolls across my middle, thick thighs, pale spotty skin- honestly it’s just whatever bugs me that day- and I can’t feel comfortable in those clothes either. I’m not exactly unfit though because I don’t drive I walk everywhere, unless it’s on the weekend when G drives us about. And the walking is quite hard work when I have two young kids to push in a big tandem travel system. I go to two or three exercise classes a week too, which I absolutely love! If I could afford it I’d go everyday! But I enjoy a drink too and we usually have a take away or meal out on a weekend so I think everything just balances out and I stay the same.

I think I need to remind myself though that I have had two kids, one only 11.5 weeks ago too. I eat healthy, I’ve started drinking crap loads of water, switched to diet coke, went back to my fitness classes, so without punishing myself altogether by cutting out the occasional takeaway and bottle of wine (never gonna happen!) I think I’m probably doing pretty well! Us women put ourselves under far too much pressure to look a certain way and I hate that. 😡

But if I could just have that day, just one day, maybe I’d realise that being ‘skinny’ isn’t everything and that I’ll probably be happier just the way I am.


Give yourself some love ladies. ❤️

Mother Hermit xx

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12 Comments on Can I just be skinny for one day?!

  1. we DO put soooo much pressure on ourselves! no matter we look like we’ll always want to look like something else, or change something else, or be more like someone else, but personally I’ve given up! I’ve decided to just do me and try (the operative word) to just be happy with the way I am. I think as long as there are no health issues, and your happy then its fine, we are all different shapes and sizes and thats ok. Whatever you do, I truly hope it makes you happy 🙂 and give yourself a break, you’ve JUST had a baby lol – congratulations!
    Great post!

    • Thank you for your lovely comment. I’m starting to realise how quickly I’ve tried to push back into the ‘normal’ after my having my boy, far too quickly! Time to focus on just being happy! X

  2. Aw I totally get this – I feel a bit the same, I lost a lot of the baby weight before xmas but then eating healthy got a bit boring! Its hard not to put pressure on yourself and also hard to eat the healthy salads when you’ve been up since 5:30! Be kind to yourself, you just had a baby and are doing amazing xxx #triballove

  3. Definitely agree with loving ourselves more! I think whatever anyone’s size and shape we all want to be different. Ummm 11.5 weeks ago…survival surely is all that matters now, and I think survival should absolutely always include wine and takeaway! Not just survival but life to be honest. I’ve read some very empowering posts in the last couple of weeks about being proud of your post-pregnancy body…I sooo believe this. Our bodies have produced our children, and nourished them for months. We are superwomen whether a size eight or eighteen or whatever. Hope you are ok. Xxx #tribalchat xx

  4. I completely see where you’re coming from. I’m struggling with my weight and really struggled with feeling confident (I’ve written a few posts about it). My biggest issue was that I just didn’t, and still don’t completely, feel like me. I think there’s a certain amount of invisibility with parenting and it just really got to me. Anyway,grab a paddle- we’re in the same boat! #tribalchat

  5. I don’t think I could try it for a day without making myself more miserable about my weight!! You do sound quite fit. I am not fit enough as I am now walking at J’s pace. Give yourself at least 9 months to lose baby weight. You only had the baby recently!

  6. It’s all about balance, and it sounds like you’ve found that. Exercise is good, and so is healthy eating, but we all need to enjoy the occasional drink and takeaway too. What’s most important is that you feel healthy and happy with yourself – and remember that your body just did something awesome, so give it a break! #triballove

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