The ultimate joy you feel when potty trained becomes toilet trained. It’s great isn’t it? The utter pride you feel boasting to everyone when it’s complete? Well I now know that those comments of “Oh that’s brilliant, makes life much easier for you now!”, are quite frankly, utter crap! Those people are clearly secretly thinking “Oh good luck with that love, you’ll be wishing she was back in nappies in no time”, followed by an evil chuckle.
Here are 10 of the negatives I’ve experienced so far…
1. Wanting to use the toilet CONSTANTLY.
Seriously. Once they’ve gotten used to using the toilet they will want to use it all of the time, regardless of whether they actually need it or not. This will drive you insane, especially in the beginning when you have to accompany them to the bathroom every. Single. Time! Having to wait for them to finish, even though you know their either not going to do anything or force out the smallest wee possible. Great.
2. Fear of toilets in unfamiliar places.
I experienced this one massively at the beginning. My daughter would refuse to even walk through the door of any public toilet- can’t blame her for that, let’s hope she’s still that picky when she’s older. But when you’re out for the day visiting a farm and she attempts to go the whole day without visiting the toilet, you just know that it’s going to end up with an accident in the sand pit. In my experience anyway! Remember spare clothes EVERYTIME you leave the house with said toddler.
3. Experimenting with toilet paper.
At first this was of no interest to my daughter, she was happy to let me wipe her when she’d finished, but once she started taking herself to the toilet on her own her curiosity took over. You will most probably walk in one day to find your bathroom looking like it’s been hit by a blizzard or in my case a bathtub full off unrolled toilet paper. Breathe.
4. Blocking the toilet (and sink!).
Ah yes, now those not so bad Christmas-like decorations have turned into full on- let’s just put this all down the toilet and see what happens. If you’re lucky like me it’ll be a full roll after a poop. Lucky me indeed. Buy marigolds.
5. Not reaching the toilet in time.
Clothing changes galore on this one. Luckily we haven’t experienced this one too much, probably because of point 1, but the times this has happened tends to be when she’s busy playing and just ‘forgets’. Or challenges herself to see how long she can last without going. Watch out for the ‘need a wee-wee’ dance.
6. Refusing to pull their pants up after using the toilet.
This one is still driving me insane. It’s rather embarrassing when you have company and your toddler returns downstairs with her pants around her ankles, hopping about like a crazed bunny rabbit. Honestly just pull them up!! I have no advice on this one- this is STILL happening, although not as often. The toddler that is- not me.
7. Not wiping their bottom.
Okay so you’ll have probably guessed from point 3 and 4 that I’m not overly keen on leaving the toilet roll within reach of my daughter, so I just leave a few squares by the side for her. Does she use them to wipe? Yeah right. Again it’s a case of hopping down the stairs shouting “Mama come wipe my bum!”. Eurgh. Just what I want whilst enjoying my already cold cuppa.
8. Deciding they need the toilet at the most inconvenient times.
This happens to me ALL of the time. Guaranteed we’ll walk into soft play and she’ll need the toilet. Always when I’m on my own with both kids. Anywhere, anytime, it’s going to happen. Perfect when you answer the phone to someone you don’t really want to speak to though… “oh I’ll have to go and take the little one to the toilet”. Comes in handy sometimes.
9. Curiosity of what else can fit down the toilet.
Ah yes, it’s not just toilet roll. Anything they can find, and reach, will be shoved down the toilet. Think about that the next time you’re about to brush your teeth…
10. Using needing the toilet as an excuse not to go to bed.
As if getting the kids into bed on a night time wasn’t hard enough they now have a genuine excuse to delay the process and you can bet your life they’ll use it! As tempting as it is to ignore their pleas, just let them go or you probably find yourself changing soaked bedsheets at 2am.
So there you have it, if you’ve yet to reach the toilet training stage, all I can say is GOOD LUCK!
Mother Hermit xx
This post first appeared on The Huffington Post UK here.